I Missed My Twins’ First Day of Childcare

This week didn’t go the way I pictured it.

A few days ago, I went to the childcare orientation — met the educators, labeled every little bottle, packed the spare clothes, the sheets, the comforters. Everything was ready for the next day, the twins first day of childcare. I even went to bed with that mix of excitement and nerves that comes with firsts.

Usually, everyone in our house is up by 6:00 or 6:30. Our toddler sleeps with us — so when one wakes, we all wake. But after a couple of rough nights with the twins, that morning everyone was still asleep. The room was quiet, heavy with the kind of silence that only happens when the universe finally decides to give you a break.

I stood there for a moment, torn. We had to be in the car, with the first feed done, by 7:15. But looking at their peaceful faces, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be the one to wake them after nights of broken sleep and endless settling.

Then came the decision: stay, do the drop-off myself, and arrive at work embarrassingly late — or delegate it to my husband and take an Uber.

I took the Uber.

We only have one car, and I usually take it to work. He can walk to childcare in about twenty minutes, but of course, that morning it was raining — because life loves a little irony. Still, he was working from home and had the flexibility to do it, so it made sense.

As I sat in the Uber, watching the rain slide down the window, I felt a knot in my chest. I wanted to be there — to see their tiny hands explore new toys, to hand over their bottles, to whisper you’ve got this to them and to myself. But I also reminded myself that this is what partnership looks like.

I’m not doing this alone.

Motherhood without a “village” often feels like carrying the whole world on your back. You get used to being the default — the one who remembers, who prepares, who shows up. And yet, part of learning to live without a village is also learning to build one at home.

Maybe I didn’t see the twins’ first drop-off, but I saw something else: a family that works as a team. A week where rest mattered more than routine. And a reminder that sometimes, the best way to show up as a mum… is to let someone else show up too.